| allen 的个人资料allen's world照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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8月22日 am 1:36在来来回回的跑动中又回到了家，可能作为我每一个起跑的起点，它也应该无可厚非的作为我每一次休憩的静止点。天气在台风的影响下变得很是奇异，黑沉沉的乌云长久的占居一边天空，而另一半则是蓝得发亮的天空和白得闪光的云，阳光从云里透出的光柱在天空的灰暗面挂出了只曾出现在遥远记忆里的彩虹。光怪陆离的风景。
和chris在香港见上面了，虽然只是匆匆，可以说是波折了其实。有点对不住挚友的感觉，毕竟没有可以长谈的时间和地点，两个人在金钟，湾仔和铜锣湾的不知名街道上来来回回的走动。很遗憾没有多少了解这个城市可以提供娱乐的地方，欣赏一个城市日常的呼吸，却没怎么在意那些负在其上的花花绿绿。可能花花绿绿也是必要的，至少用在招待友人上。sorry chris.
也许是对chris心怀歉疚，于是他在我回来的第一个晚上开着白色的面包车出现在我的梦里，与天气一样的光怪陆离的梦。只是不知道为什么anna也一并出现，是不是你们之间有偶联性，你们自己招了吧。。。不过大体这是一个休闲的无厘头的梦。第一天回来的晚上做了两个梦，在chris和anna合伙出现的梦之前，有那么一个梦直接中断了我的睡眠。在梦里，我死了。感觉还是很清晰，甚至连自己怎样像棉花一样砸在地板上的感觉和地板扬起的灰尘都那么清晰。身体重重的被砸在地板上，感觉很闷重。。。曾经有一段时间对梦有兴趣，总想从梦里解释什么，不过没有心情细细阅读晦涩的佛洛伊德的梦的解析，只好作罢。醒了之后觉得很慌，很想起身就此不睡，身体却很抗拒。只好把枕头直接靠住墙壁，两人大的床只睡一边，而且是靠墙的一边，另外一边有人，或者没有人，都可以成为习惯了，有人的日子也是有的，虽然不如没人的时间长。这些也已经是前天昨天的事情了。其实不知道应不应该留下这些记录，但觉得和自己说说也无妨。
抽根烟吧。。。已经在香港群狼的影响下渐渐喜欢上国烟了，记得yummy总是一本正经的抽起一根kent,然后吸两嘴后猛地掐灭这1.45HKD，愤愤地说：臭混合。还是有点道理的。烤烟的味道好像现在更纯粹一点了，没有过多香料的修饰，朴素得有点辛辣。最后一点时间了，能留给我发呆的时间也就这么点了，往下，生活去吧。
7月28日 回归很久没有回来写东西了,这一年太多东西好写,却没办法逻辑性的写,因为今年根本没有逻辑.
总算完成了学校的修行,关闭了yahoo的blog,还是觉得这里最好，好可能是打不开，可能是没多少人知道。随便了。
开始有点为生活奔波的感觉了，从clear water bay一路杀到tsueng wan,从最东一直杀到最西，从来没有在读书的时候在一个城市里这样奔波过，或者是说为自己奔波过。因为在广州也是有的，从天河杀到白云山，从五山杀到江南西，坐在公园剪报纸，不过却没有得到最终的结果，虽然是恨想有个结局，但是料不到的东西，得不到也算是常事了。
在近工作的地方相中了一套房子，两房一厅，月租9K（真TMD贵。。。）还好还有超级大泳池和24hr健身房，多多少少补回一点票价。希望明天能顺利砍下来，再回家组织我的海边放荡游去。放荡听起来好像很可怕，不过好像放在我这里。。。知道的兄弟姐妹们都不会为我担心的~在anna那里的申请得到批准了！那我就上图了！真的很高兴那个短短的part-time哈哈，做了一回接送你们的“有车人士”，相当满足~喜欢和chris和anna在原绿的谈话，喜欢chris略带沙哑的嗓音和anna深藏不露的唱歌天赋，嗯啊，都是公牛母牛！anna的照片让我不得不赞叹这ADAM同学的照相功力阿，有点冲动想让ADAM同学帮鄙人也照上几张，骗骗人。。。anna的不用骗，相当真实，赞一下，我的，就请您多多美化了。。。
废话不多说啦，上图，各位仔细了！
6月11日 year of mousethe old said, i will be in bad luck this year, because i was born in the year of mouse, and every year that comes to the year of mouse, the star that protecting me would become dim. unfortunately, this time, they may name it correctly...
life has been tough to me when i stepped into this so-call mouse year, so many things happened. though bad things or things that hurt you happen all the time, in this year, they come in such a high frequency and, the worse thing is that i should take them all by myself...i cannot even tell them to people that i trusted. becoz it may hurt they or, maybe they are the one who brought it up....
the thing hurt me the most.... is your leaving....
it's a danger in loving somebody too much
and it's sad when you know
it's your heart you can't trust.
sometimes, love just ain't enough.
wound stopped bleeding, but scar left.
5月9日 francecannot be there with bill, damn... i wanna witness all these with you ar... maybe next time...
1月28日 当放假遇上酒席过去两日系表哥既好日子,作为唯一仲系屋企毛无野做既血缘兄弟,当然要出力帮手,打点既有一众叔伯兄弟,完全轮唔到我d细仔出手，于是老老实实做左几日阿四，都感觉比较得意，可以帮到手，点话都得啦。 一有婚事，无论大细老幼，壮年耆英，全部到齐，细既要睇住，大既要好生伺候，一样大细既要饮翻两杯，所以两日落来，都谢左七成。不过好彩都无失礼街坊，总算顺利完成，仲痴左今晚餐劲既…上次系另外一个朋友既结婚酒宴上唔明大细，系甘帮人开心，系甘多谢来亲既叔伯兄弟，搞到人人都觉得我饮酒好劲，之后次次见亲我都劝我唔好饮甘多酒…所以今次坐系个旮旯位度，唔理人地点饮，系甘狂食野，食得几多就几多，食到最尾个人太精神，卑吩咐去照顾d饮到七七八八既……系尼度发现d人饮醉中意系甘握手，系甘握手，今晚对手卑人捻左几十次，远远睇落好似亲密到不得了。其实他醉到唔知我系乜水，而我，他醉唔醉我都完全唔知他系乜水…… 结婚单野都好得意，不过今次纯粹系替阿表哥仔开心~等到自己果日，会开心好多卦，睇今日表哥个样就知啦……不过我仲有排等。。。老婆等我啦…… 1月25日 words i like
And I applied my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is but a chasing after wind. For in much wisdom is much vexation, and those who increase knowledge increase sorrow. (bible----genesis, chapter one) 12月25日 merry Xmas今次用中文,所有人圣诞快乐拉~~~今日日程满晒,唯有而家上来讲下野
香港圣诞气氛吾错窝,虽然未到夜晚,到处已经系圣诞音乐加布景拉,虽然仲有presentation要做，但系，暂时放低下感觉真系轻松。黑仔时期快d过去啦，了结左好多野，识左好多人，我要开始过新年啦~
寻晚12：20分，接到彪仔系罗马打卑我既电话，真系感动。。。个PK仔都算有我心啦，无白费我大学四年一得闲就同你出去撑台脚同埋系宿舍打机，唯一发现系拳王上有超越我天分既人，系你~唯一无厘头过我既，都系你。。。唯一瘦过我兼且同我一样高既，非你莫属啦。在此多谢彪仔，我好挂住你啊~~~
同样送上圣诞祝福卑远在北京，日日滑雪既Amelia，远在江南一带，爱老婆，爱生活既tony一家，远在哈尔滨既另外一位tony一家，近在广州既兄弟们，同样在广州既maggie，系泰国睇紧人妖既florence, HKTDC既同事阿靓仔Chris，劲似维尼既Randy，阿Cici姐，阿靓女Anna，师姐Crystal，靓妈主任，同埋所有共事过既同事~虽然吾系度度都有雪落，但系起码度度都有价减，所以，尽量揾个理由卑自己高兴下啦：）
merry christmas and and a happy new year~~ 11月17日 fxxk thatwhy we connot relax for a while ? too ambitious sometimes is harmful. do not tell me to concentrate on my work, i konw the pace. 11月16日 a normal mid-nightsuddenly, i closed up all the websites i am looking at and opened the blog which i had added words long before.
i was suppose to write here in chinese but, maybe i have been expressing my feeling in english for a long time, it is hard for me to change in chinese. chinese is too straight-forward and every body can understand, maybe that's the reason i still using enlgish rather than chinese when i dont wanna make it so apparent.
maggie almost sends me a mail everyday, things she talking about are tiny things happen in her life. she said she dont expect me to reply, but i know that feeling. we are all waiting for something, the only difference is who we are waiting for.
days here is very plain. it is too plain that i dont even remember my birthday until my mum call me to celebrate it. this year's birthday was quite silent, no drinking and eating, just sitting here and drinking a can of cola. sorry for the cola, i know it is bad for health, but i just cannot refuse drinking it. i know better than many of you, but if we care so much, how can we enjoy our short presence on this beautiful world.
everything is poisonous, it is the dose which differenciates a poison from a remedy. truth. i will drink less but dont ask me to quit.
the suicide in the campus is quit shocked, i went to the memerization ceremony, just to send my sadness for the victim. but too many people are using his death for they own interest, it digusted me a lot, so i just went away after a few minutes.
i had a long chat with v.v, i think it was a long chat, though it was just one-way communication. men sometimes are silly, for no reason. the reason i got silly is that i dont make things too complicated, i cannot handle complicated things, becasuse many problems have a straight forward solution. and i like the simplest one.
that's it. i think, ending with a quote of lyric, let's waste time, chasing cars. silly is sometimes not that simple, am i right? dear all.
10月16日 still travellingI know it may not be the right time to write here because of mid-term and heavy load of report. Suddenly this morning, i received a mail from kata. she sent me one of her diary in which she wrote in a casual way to memorize the time we spent together. It is quite weird when i was reading that article. The time we had spent was too distant to be recalled in all details but still, i can sense the feeling that i was so happy when all of my friends were around me.
Studyed in different schools in different places at different time for long, i felt like i am always travelling. I was and I am still travelling, the only thing differentiates my journal is that i cannot easily meet with old friends while the new keep flashing by.
I was fully pleased when reading the mail, beacause the feeling of being together was so conceret and embodied. I am trravlling with cares from all of you guys, as i am carrying yours' in me.
keep in touch. dear all 7月23日 开始，记录从毕业到现在，总算开始定下来了。开始习惯了没有彪少吹水的日子，没有直上六楼的加速跑，开始习惯了群变成经济群，然后开始习惯晚起晚睡。没有既定目标的日子过得很均匀，于是有点麻木，到后来才发觉原来已经颓废掉大半个月了。 学会了开车，但是没学会倒车。。。 在狗和师奶横行并突然加速跑过马路的过程中得了狗和师奶恐惧症，虽然两者不可类比，但是他们的加速能力和敢死精神总是让我惊吓之余很是敬佩。。。不过渐渐觉得开车没有开摩托车来得爽利，同样是60km/h,开摩托车时却可以无视任何体型的师奶和任何颜色的狗，以及享受迎面而来的风，四周都是空旷旷的风景，和泥土的气味。很喜欢一路摩托到海边，空气越来越凉，夜色也越来越深，远离少许繁华的小镇，虽然没人在后座上陪我看风景，自己放开一下总是好的。之前看多了将要去的城市的繁华，突然很珍惜现在这种悠闲得略显年老的日子。 差不多已经完全和hallen失去联系，差不多已经完全和cat失去联系，差不多已经是时候离开这个小镇。 附上小镇照片，实拍，没有ps过，要说看不出是我们这小地方的风景的话，那只是因为你从来没有把自己融进这里而已。 HJ，其实很美。  5月7日 moon light shadowMaybe the title was from a miserable song,i cannot remember its content exactly,but i just love it.Everything is just staying calm under the gentle moon light,the lamp,the tree,the lake and me.
will we under the same moon
even we were departed to different places
will we in a same mood
even we have not ever been together
It is quiet peaceful (i love this word so much that i may over-use it in my words) in emotion when rise my head and stare at the moon in such a lovely summer night.May someone does as i do at the same time,will this person is the one i loved ?or, will he/she in the same mood as i am ?
An irresitible departure is approching,but weird tonight,i am looking forward to it.No misery is waiting out there,but a new sail is coming to play some excitement.Thank you my fellow,you gave me the best college life and,thank you v.v,you came and put a perfect dot to end all of it up... 3月24日 After two cups of coffee and a package of cigaretteDont trust me, since you cannnot even trust yourself. 3月7日 UncertaintyI want a hibernation and ignore all those gnawing waiting...
Almost collapsed,im waiting for just one paper or just one mail,from which i can relieve myself of this seemed endless or,perhaps,overwhelming feeling of uncertainty.I know people around me are suffering the same as i do.I know they cannot understand these words so that i can display to be optimistic and contraditorily relieve them of their nervousness.
God bless me... 2月5日 Intermittedly SpeakingEarthquake...
Haven't gotten online normally and smoothly for a while, let alone added something new here.These days are plain and flat,less than enjoyable but more than monotonous.Mrs Jiang's experiment nearly drived us crazy for her uncertainness of herself in the experiment...This makes me felt like just being used as a laboror rather than someone who can touch the technical essence.So it's better to look up some essay by myself.How could a doctor acts like that...really disappointed me.
Had a brief chat with v.v this morning, she is preaparing the GRE, really a hard job, even for native english users.Bend every effort to it, and i'll support you morally.By the way,i want to say something to you: the person i wanna really get touch with is you, not the one who looks like you, so please, dont play the hiding and finding.Or we can just only talk about those gnawing exams and weather things...
Sent a resume...god bless me...dont bring me back to the laboratory...i need a job, for living. 12月15日 back againI would had been added something here during these days,but the space seems unavailable for some days.Many of my friends changed to use other blogs,remaining me here.I not emphasizing my consistence,but actually,I'm too lazy to make some changes.Just like vear talking to me several times to keep my away from eating flesh,from smoking...I'm sorry,but i just too lazy to follow so,to search for a brand-new style that i should live.
Weather in GZ finally fell into the cold winter,and our campus life approaching to its end.Mnay of my classmates dressed up and went to the job recruiters.All these put me in a weired emotion.Maybe my vacabulary is so poor that i cannot use an accurate word to describe my feeling towards the surrounding changes.But i think the word "lost" is the fittest of expressing myself.And the most confused thing of my mind is that whether the environmental science is a promising major.Since most of classmtes told me they were decriminated by job recruiters and their efforts through the four year study turn out to be vain.
I was full of worried that i chose the wrong side of my career,and on my back,there are coutless hope and expectation focusing.In my childhood,i had been asked for thousands of times of my dream,my career.I can barely remember what my answer was,but all answers i responded was of a great confidence and faith.And i wonder what make me so confused when the same question confront me after years;what deprived me of my faith...
Winter arrived,without snowing.
Christmas is coming,without santa.
Life lives,without assurance. |
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